


holiday cards, pink glitter, and you(nghoon)

by neotbz



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: 3rd grade teacher younghoon, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Fluff, Holidays, Light-Hearted, Love Confessions, M/M, SO MUCH FLUFF, Secret Admirer, Secret Crush, art teacher kevin, very cute, younghoon is a shy babie around kevin, younghoon is kev's secret admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:15:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28231542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neotbz/pseuds/neotbz
Summary: Kevin's eye catches on a piece of red paper sticking out in between the tube of pipe cleaners and packs of tissue paper. It's nestled right next to the door, tucked in safely so the rush of air from when the door opens doesn't jostle it.He flips it open once he sits back down, finding a list written on the inside.'Things I Admire About You', the list is titled.(or, kevin keeps finding these holiday cards around the school addressed to him from a secret admirer. the catch? they're the same types of cards kevin is teaching his students to make during art class)
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae, Kim Younghoon/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	holiday cards, pink glitter, and you(nghoon)

**Author's Note:**

> bbangmoon are my babeys and i couldnt get this idea out of my head after kevin said that he would be an elementary school art teacher if not an idol, and i couldn't stop thinking about hoon as a teacher too! plus bbangmoon's dynamic is one of my favs, they're so soft together. also this is based on the american school system because that is all i have experience with!

Kevin hates the three weeks between Thanksgiving break and winter break. With the sun coming out for barely 8 hours and the chilly winds freezing his bones, being at school, teaching, is the last thing he wants to do. 

He’s not alone in his hatred. Every student he knows would rather be outside, playing in the snow and eating yummy baked goods instead of being at school. And all the teachers would rather be drinking hot cocoa on their couch and taking a break from intense grading. Kevin would know. 

He’s used to the children’s unproductivity by this point in his teaching career. Three years ago, he wouldn’t have known what to do, but Kevin has got it down at this point. 

Kids start to file into Kevin’s classroom, a flurry of “Hi, Mr. Moon!” directed right at him as they look curiously at the table of supplies he’s put out. He grins, he had lost track of time while replying to emails, but luckily he had set everything out for class earlier.

“Good afternoon, everyone,” he greets with a warm smile, heart lifting when he gets several bright smiles in return. 

He looks into the hallway as the last few kids trudge in, taking their seats slowly. Jacob sends him a small smile and a thumbs up, signaling to Kevin that everyone in his class is on their best behavior today. Kevin nods in understanding, smiling before Jacob heads down the hallway, presumably to get a little break in the teacher’s lounge. 

He closes the door before turning back to the now-full classroom. He can’t help the smile that takes over his face. As much as he complains about working during this time, he can’t say that he dislikes his job. Especially not Jacob’s 2nd grade class. 

Jacob’s class is probably one of Kevin’s favorites. Compared to the other 2nd grade classes he teaches, Jacob’s class is generally quiet and there aren’t very many disruptive kids. Kevin definitely enjoys teaching this class. 

Today, he appreciates it a bit extra, since it’s the Monday after Thanksgiving and he, just like them, would rather be watching TV instead of sitting in art class. A quiet class benefits both parties by letting their brains relax a bit.

“How was everyone’s Thanksgiving break?” he asks as chatter slowly dies down, taking a seat on top of his desk, smiling at all the little faces in front of him.

It’s honestly ridiculous how much hearing the kids talk to him boosts his mood. Even on his hardest days, seeing his students really makes his day. 

“My cousin had a giant bouncy house for her birthday!” Aeri, one of the more talkative kids, pipes up, swinging her hand in the air to get Kevin’s attention.

“Oh, really? That must’ve been a lot of fun,” Kevin’s heart softens as Aeri gestures just how big the bouncy house was, and he entertains all of the stories his students volunteer, laughing at all the exaggerations the kids make.

“Alright,” Kevin hops off of his desk, walking over to a long table at the side of the classroom, right next to the window. The table is full of crafting supplies; construction paper, colored markers, scissors, and stickers. Kevin knows his students will have a field day with this project, the same way they do every year.

“Today, we’re going to be making winter-themed cards! You all can make as many cards as you like to take home to your family members!” Kevin explains, watching the kids’ eyes get larger and larger.

Instantly, four hands shoot up into the air, wiggling around in their seats with excitement.

“Can I make one for my dog?” Andrew wonders out loud.

“Can I draw a Christmas tree on mine?” Lily asks.

“Can we paint?” Junseo practically yells. 

“I needa go to the bathroom,” Jake whimpers. 

Kevin stifles his smile and answers all of the questions — reminding Junseo to use his inside voice — and hustling Jake to the bathroom as soon as he can. 

With those instructions, he allows the kids to head to the table and pick out their supplies, in small groups, of course, and he reminds them all to be careful with the scissors. 

It’s a job full of instant gratification. Kevin demonstrates how he likes to make his cards: a calligraphy header, with a green Christmas tree drawn on the front, and a short message on the inside. After showing the kids how he does calligraphy, he’s called over to every corner of the room to write headers on cards for the kids’ mothers, brothers, and dog, in Andrew’s case.

Kevin enjoys making winter cards the most. He loves the other projects he’s made lesson plans for: clay animals for 5th graders, animal mask sculptures for 3rd graders, and pipe cleaner butterflies for the 1st graders, but there’s a special spot in Kevin’s heart for holiday cards. 

It’s a simple activity, one that doesn’t take a lot of teaching on Kevin’s behalf, and the kids don’t have to do a lot of work, but it brings so much happiness. Every year, a student or two tends to make Kevin a card too, and that’s what really gets him. 

Class goes by quickly, and it’s a better start to the week than Kevin was expecting. He almost forgets how cold it is outside and how much winter reminds him of things he misses more than he can put into words. 

—

Kevin is all bundled up on the couch, wrapped in his blanket, with all the lights on. Electricity bill be damned, he’s home alone and doesn’t want to sit in the dark where he knows he’ll overthink. 

He has a problem with being alone, he knows. He's half tempted to pick up his phone and call anyone, maybe Hyunjae, or even Chanhee, to get rid of the gaping feeling he feels overtaking him.

He doesn't know when it started. Maybe when he moved abroad to study, or when he was offered his first teaching job out of college, when he lived in an apartment on his own for the first time, no roommates. He isn't quite sure.

All he knows is that somewhere between his teenage years and now, his early twenties, he's developed the inability to stay single. Or, more like, the inability to not have a crush on someone.

Kevin has never been good at being alone. He's always caught feelings too quickly. His heart has a permanent place on his sleeve. But especially after he started working, he's had continuous crush after crush. He knows it’s got something to do with how far he is from his family, but he has no idea how to stop. 

It started with Sangyeon, his boss and friend. On his first day of work, he, in his nervous stupor, had gotten lost in the building that he had been in a handful of times before. It had been Sangyeon, the principal of the school Kevin taught at, who had guided him towards the right hallway, an amused smile on his face and a good luck wish to send him off with.

Or maybe it had started before that. Maybe it had been Jacob, his best friend and coworker and roommate. And his childhood friend, Kevin can't leave that out. Kevin had always secretly thought that it had been fate that reconnected them in college after they had lost touch in middle school. And Kevin couldn't resist Jacob's sweet smile and reassuring words, always telling him that he was on the right path.

Either way, Kevin had fallen head over heels for his best friend, and he knew he couldn't let him walk out of his life again. Maybe it had been luck (or fate, again) that offered them jobs at the same elementary school. Jacob had started working there before Kevin had, but they had already been roommates by that point. It hadn't taken much thought when Kevin was offered the art teacher position, but Kevin was over Jacob by that point. Jacob is definitely one of Kevin's soulmates, but there is nothing romantic about their relationship.

Kevin likes to think that he's outgrown having romantic crushes as a way to deflect from the real problem at hand: his fear that one day everyone will up and leave him, and the intense homesickness the winter season brings. But then again, there's never really a point in Kevin's life that he hasn't been completely enamored by someone in his life.

Kevin's practically crushed on every teacher that he works with, though most of them are short-lived and harmless, lasting anywhere from a few days to two weeks at most.

Right now, though Kevin vehemently denies it still, it is Kim Younghoon. He's liked Younghoon for almost 6 months by this point, and in Kevin's opinion, it's well past time for him to get over him and move on.

He doesn't know what it is about Younghoon, but he can't stop thinking about him. They don't know each other very well, but since Kevin is friends with most of the teachers in the school, including Sangyeon, he knows a lot about Younghoon. That, and the fact that Younghoon's a mutual friend of Kevin's, through Chanhee.

Basically, Kevin knows he should get over Younghoon. He should've done that last summer before the previous school year ended. But it's hard to get over a person who practically shines, even at 7:30 AM, before Kevin's even had his first coffee of the day. And that smile that Kevin can't get enough of. Younghoon is friendly, polite, and always welcoming towards Kevin, but they aren't close. Not in the way Kevin wants.

He's mulling over whether or not he should text Chanhee and ask if he wants to go out this weekend when the door opens.

"Hey," Jacob greets, and Kevin hears the quiet thump of Jacob dropping his things on the floor before he makes his way over to the couch.

"It's 5:30. Why are you laying on the couch like you're about to pass out?" Jacob doesn't look as worried as Kevin thinks he should be, but he pouts and flips over so he's on his back.

"I hate winter," he mumbles, and Jacob's face softens. Jacob's always been too good at reading Kevin, and Kevin's always been the fool who has no problem baring his heart to a pretty smile.

Jacob pulls Kevin's feet up so he can slip onto the couch, laying Kevin's feet on his lap afterward, snuggling close.

"Did you have a bad day?" Jacob asks knowingly.

Kevin sighs, wishing for the searing behind his eyes to stop, "Just— the holidays are supposed to be a fun, cozy time of year. But I always, without fail, end up feeling lonely. And I don't know what to do about that. I thought this year would be different."

Jacob's brows furrow, just like they always do when Kevin says he feels alone.

"You're not alone, Kev. Have you talked to your parents lately? Or your sister?" Jacob asks, leaning over to brush some of Kevin's hair out of his eyes.

The gesture makes Kevin feel even worse because he isn't stupid. He has Jacob. He's not alone, and him telling Jacob that he is just insinuates that Kevin doesn’t count Jacob as someone close to him. And that isn't true, it could never be true.

He just can't soothe the gaping wound in his heart and the insistent whispers in his brain, constantly telling him that he's alone.

Kevin just closes his eyes briefly, "I talked to my parents last week. And I texted my sister on Thanksgiving. She's busy with med school, though."

"Do you have much grading to do?" Jacob asks gently, and Kevin doesn't know when it happened, but sometime during their conversation, Kevin automatically relaxed, untensing the shoulders that had been set since he drove home.

Kevin shakes his head, "Why?"

Jacob has a small smile on his face when Kevin opens his eyes, "I'll make hot chocolate. Pick a movie. You have the Christmas tree lights on, so it had better be a holiday movie."

Kevin's heart inflates and he nods, "Thanks, Cob."

"I'm here for you, you know that," is all Jacob says before disappearing into the kitchen.

Kevin knows he shouldn't feel like this. Especially not when Jacob is kind of the greatest friend and platonic soulmate the universe could've given him. But he's never really had control over his heart, or his mind, for that matter, so he goes on, hating the immediate cold in the spot that Jacob just vacated.

—

Kevin's running late for school on Friday. It's been a slow week, and Kevin tends to get in his head during slow weeks, so he decided to watch a movie last night and ended up oversleeping. He's lucky that his first class doesn't come in until 9:45, but still, he hates being late.

He pushes the back door open, taking care not to spill coffee on his shirt. That would create a whole other mess that Kevin isn't prepared to handle.

He’s actually not having a terrible day, unlike what he’d expected. He’d woken up rested and refreshed, at least until he realized he was running late. 

The hallways are empty, since the official school day started about 17 minutes ago. Kevin hurries to his classroom, taking the usual route through the school that allows him to walk past Younghoon's classroom on his way.

He doesn't stop to look through the window, both because he's already late, and also because he doesn’t want to risk one of his students finding their art teacher staring at their teacher. 

He catches a glimpse of black hair as he passes the door, and he smiles. It's enough for him for right now. If he's lucky, he might catch Younghoon in the lounge during his coffee break.

He sets his things down on his desk when he gets to his room, pausing when he spots a stray piece of green construction paper sticking out of a pile of oil pastel landscapes the 4th graders had recently done.

Kevin furrows a brow, wondering if a student had accidentally left their card on his desk. He's usually a pretty neat person, so there isn't much clutter in his classroom. He tries to keep the messiness to a minimum.

He picks up the paper, flipping it over to find a Christmas tree drawn on it and precise strokes spelling out "merry christmas, kevin" above the tree. The calligraphy is too good to belong to an elementary schooler, lines far too steady.

The inside of the card is more blank, just a sweet message telling him to _ "Take care of yourself!" _ written in pretty print, a couple of stickers and washi tape strips decorating the page.

That isn't what catches Kevin's attention, though. His eyes catch on the signature at the bottom, the loopy handwriting just a little familiar to Kevin.

_ From: your secret admirer <3 _

Kevin has to remind himself to inhale, and he drops into his chair, looking at the back of the card to make sure there isn't anything he's missing.

The handwriting is what gets Kevin. He's seen that handwriting before. It's not Jacob's, Kevin's pretty sure, but it's not like he sees Jacob's handwriting that often. He only gets peeks of it when he's grading and Kevin's sitting on the couch next to him, trying to ignore the reminder that Kevin should probably also be grading.

Kevin takes a second to process. He has a secret admirer? It doesn't seem that plausible. Who at this school would be admiring Kevin? It must be a joke from Jacob.

Kevin flips the card over one more time, tracing over the pretty tree; he really loves the illustration style. It's more loosely drawn, with the marker coloring going out of the lines and ornaments all unique with their own intricate details. It's a style Kevin's never really been able to pull off very well.

He doesn’t really remember Jacob being one for drawing, but he shrugs. Jacob must’ve gotten someone else to draw, and he had just written the message himself as a way to cheer Kevin up. 

He puts the card aside and opens his laptop; there's a lot he needs to get done before school is released for winter break, and Kevin should really be preparing lesson plans for the next month instead of looking at a card someone had made him as a joke.

At least that's what Kevin tells himself.

When Kevin remembers the card's existence the next time, it's right before he leaves school for the day. 

He's packing away his laptop and planner, organizing the stack of papers on his desk, getting prepared to hightail it out of the school and climb into bed and maybe watch a cheesy holiday romcom when his eyes fall on the green card again.

He scrunches his nose up as he picks it up, wondering who exactly could have left it there. He glances at it one more time before shoving it into his bag with a sigh, ignoring the weird feeling brewing in his stomach.

It's not like he doesn't appreciate the card, but he's pretty sure it was just Jacob trying to make him feel better since he knows how Kevin gets during this season. He doesn’t really want to entertain any other possibilities. 

He gets through the school quickly, most other teachers either in their classrooms or already out of the school, and the chilly December wind nearly knocks him off his feet. Kevin tightens the scarf around his neck and huffs his way through the parking lot, irrationally wishing it would snow. Snow would make the chilly weather worth it for him.

He's about to get into his car when he spots Jacob coming out of the building. He doesn't look suspicious or like he’s hiding anything at all, and he waves when he spots Kevin next to his car. 

Kevin waits for Jacob to hurry over, clearly noticing that he wants to talk since he's been standing next to his car door for over a minute.

"What's up?" Jacob asks, concern leaking into his voice, eyes wide as he looks Kevin up and down, "Everything okay?"

Kevin nods, "I just wanted to ask you something."

Jacob gestures for him to go on, leaning against the side of Kevin's car. The tension has seeped out of his shoulders, and he sets his bag down on the ground. Kevin digs around his own bag, looking for the card he had been gifted this morning.

He pulls it out, looking for a spark of recognition in Jacob's eyes, or any change in emotion. Jacob just continues to look at him curiously, eyes flicking from the green construction paper to Kevin's eyes. Kevin knows it's a long shot at this point, but he still has to try.

"I got this card this morning, and I was just wondering if it was from you," Kevin explains, and Jacob's eyes widen with interest, and the card is pulled out of Kevin's hand.

"The drawings are a lot better than I could ever manage," Jacob says with a smile as he opens the card, before he gasps, "A secret admirer? Holy shit."

Kevin's eyes quickly flick around the parking lot to make sure no one else is there to hear Jacob cursing. Jacob cursing is a rarity, it only ever happens when Jacob is either hurt or surprised, and the last bit of hope that Kevin was harboring is completely squashed.

"This isn't from me, Kev. If I wanted to give you a card, I would've just signed my name. But... this handwriting, it looks familiar," Jacob trails off as he inspects the elegant penmanship.

"I thought so too," Kevin says, "It's probably a teacher here if you recognize the handwriting too."

Kevin feels his heart rate slow back down. The likelihood that the card is from a teacher is high, and that relaxes Kevin. He can deal with a teacher secret admirer. The thought of it even makes him somewhat excited. He had been afraid that the card had been delivered from a parent via their child, which is messy and unprofessional and something Kevin never wants to deal with.

A teacher, though. Kevin can get behind that. He wonders who it could be. Maybe Changmin, the funny fourth-grade teacher that Kevin’s somewhat close to. Or maybe Sangyeon, though Kevin doubts it. Sangyeon takes his job too seriously to ever do something like this. Or maybe even... Younghoon. Kevin doesn't let himself dwell on that possibility for too long, though, simply because the rush of adrenaline that he feels is far too incriminating for him.

He pulls himself out of his thoughts to find Jacob already looking at him, an amused smile playing at his lips.

"Sorry, got distracted," Kevin mumbles, and Jacob snickers.

"Here, you can daydream about your secret admirer. I gotta go, I'm meeting Hyunjae at the gym in twenty," Jacob hands the card back to him, eyes twinkling as he laughs to himself.

"Stop making fun of me," Kevin's face is noticeably red, embarrassment radiating off him in waves, and he tucks the card back into his bag, nestling it between his laptop and the back of the bag so it doesn't get wrinkled. If he pats it once more, just to make sure it's safe, well, no one has to know.

Jacob just laughs some more before he straightens and grabs his bag off the ground. "I'll see you at home, Kev. I'll ask Hyunjae if he has any idea who your secret admirer might be."

Kevin just sighs and nods, opening the door to his car as Jacob's form retreats to the other side of the lot where he's parked.

Kevin's buckling himself into his seat when he spots the back door to the school open. A head pops out, too far for Kevin to really notice their face. All he sees is warm brown hair. The person looks around for a couple of seconds, head turning left and right, clearly looking for something, before they duck back into the school, door closing once again.

Kevin furrows his eyebrows, wondering what that's about. He doesn't give it too much thought, though, too engrossed in thinking about who could possibly be behind the card.

—

"Kev, it's been too long," Hyunjae says as Kevin slips into the seat next to him, smiling as he hands him a menu.

"I saw you in the teacher's lounge on Monday," Kevin points out but Hyunjae waves it off.

"Work doesn't count. You should come work out with us sometime," Hyunjae suggests, referring to him and Jacob, and Kevin can't help the look of disgust that crosses his face.

"I'll never understand why you work out every day when you're literally a physical education teacher," Kevin shakes his head but Hyunjae only smiles.

"How are you really doing, Kev? I know you downplay everything for Cob's sake," Hyunjae asks, and Kevin can't help but notice the nickname, as well as the hand that goes to Jacob's thigh without Hyunjae noticing.

"I'm doing okay, actually. Not as bad as last year," Kevin finds that it isn't even that much of a lie. He's genuinely doing alright. It's either because of Jacob or his secret admirer but either way, he's been having an easier time falling asleep.

"Yeah? That's good to hear," Hyunjae smiles, his sweet smile that makes Kevin feel guilty for not spending as much time as he can with his friend.

"I'm starving," Chanhee drops into the chair across from Kevin, and Kevin braces himself. It's always a mess when their friend group gets together, simply because they always find a way to pick on Kevin's uncanny talent of falling in love too easily.

Their nights out always end in two ways: either everyone reminisces on how Kevin's had a crush on everyone in their friend group, or they relentlessly try to set Kevin up with random people they come across, all while trying to figure out who Kevin currently has a crush on.

It's a vile cycle but Kevin loves his friends, no matter how much they tease him.

"Did you guys know that Kevin has a secret admirer?" Hyunjae says it, and Kevin slumps back in his chair with a sigh.

Hyunjae must be extra excited about this development. Usually, they can make it to the main course of dinner before they start discussing Kevin's love life.

Kevin eyes both Jacob and Hyunjae, sending them light glares that they both laugh off.

Kevin turns to find the rest of the table's attention on him. He sighs again, "It's nothing, guys. I just found a card on my desk. It's probably from a student playing a prank."

Jacob scoffs, "I saw that handwriting, Kev. No child, no matter if they're a professional at forging handwriting or not, can write like that. Besides, they don't even teach cursive at school anymore."

It's Changmin who scoots forward, eyes alight with interest, "Do you know who it might be?"

Kevin just shrugs, knowing that Jacob or Hyunjae will take over the conversation.

"No idea, but we're pretty sure that it's someone at the school. Wait, have you noticed anyone taking extra interest in your lately, Kev? Like, walking past your classroom or looking at you in the hallways?" Hyunjae asks, eyes widening like he's just had an epiphany.

"No," Kevin says, though his mind wanders back to a few days ago when he had seen someone looking out of the back door of the school. Dark brown hair is all he can recall, but he wishes he had been closer and was able to catch a glimpse of their face.

"We'll figure it out. They'll probably leave more cards or notes sometime and we'll be able to match up the handwriting," Hyunjae assures Kevin, though he wasn't really worried about it in the first place. He manages a smile, and attempts to change the topic.

"Where's Younghoon?" is what he comes up with, turning to Chanhee, receiving a knowing look in response.

He keeps the fact that he noticed that Younghoon wasn't here the second he walked into the restaurant to himself. He knows the teasing will only get worse as the evening goes on, and while he doesn't mind it very much, he prefers not to have Sangyeon, his boss, listen in on everything.

Sangyeon is a very nice boss, and has been nothing but friendly to him in and out of work, but something about being his subordinate before being his friend is strange to him. It's not like he can do anything about it, though, because Sangyeon is close to Chanhee and Changmin, so where they go, he goes as well.

"He's out of town for the weekend. He's visiting his family," Chanhee informs, and Kevin tips his head to the side.

"Right before winter break? We only have two weeks till then," Kevin muses.

"He won't be able to go home over break so he wanted to go for just a weekend. It's better than nothing," Chanhee explains, and Kevin nods. He wishes he could go home for a weekend. He misses his mother's cooking.

Before Kevin can get too far into his sad and lonely train of thought, Changmin is pulling him out by turning to talk to Eric, one of Chanhee and Changmin's younger friends.

"Eric, you've only met Kevin a few times before, right? Well, he has this thing where he falls in love super super easily, and it's the funniest thing ever. His crushes only last a few weeks but they happen super often. Hey, Kev, who're you crushing on right now?"

Kevin doesn't really get embarrassed talking about his feelings, especially since his lovely friends take it upon themselves to help Kevin either get over his crushes or find out if his feelings are requited, but it's not like he wants to inform Eric, who's still in university and has better things to worry about than who his current crush is.

His face burns red and he just picks up his glass, letting the beer go down quickly, as if it will help the red fade.

"Remember when Kevin liked Sangyeon? I think that was Kevin's most embarrassing crush ever," Chanhee snickers, eyeing Kevin out of the corner of his eye.

Kevin groans, most of his previous crushes are open knowledge, but it's still somewhat embarrassing.

"I think it was cute," Sangyeon shrugs, a small smile at the corner of his lips, "He would always get so red when I would visit his classes."

Kevin mumbles incoherent protests, but he's honestly drunk too much to truly care, "I was not cute."

"No, the most embarrassing one was Hyunjae," Jacob counters, smiling affectionately at Kevin.

"Stop," he whines, "That was right when I first started working here. I didn't know Hyunjae was…. Hyunjae."

"Hey!" comes Hyunjae's scandalized voice, "What does that even mean?"

"I think Kevin's probably had a crush on everyone here," Changmin looks around the table, nodding when he makes eye contact with everyone.

"Except Eric. He's too young for me," Kevin murmurs, eyes starting to droop.

"Except Eric," Changmin agrees, and Kevin leans back, letting the noise fade to the back of his head, closing his eyes slowly.

He lets everyone talk about his feelings and his crushes, knowing that none of them have actually been serious, and though he wears his heart on his sleeve, it's not necessarily a bad thing.

The last thing he thinks before he falls asleep is that he hopes Younghoon is having a good time with his family.

—

"Good morning, everyone! I hope you all had a good weekend," Kevin greets as the classroom starts to fill up.

His heart stutters when Younghoon comes in, a warm smile on his face.

"Hey, how's it going?" Younghoon asks, leaning against the doorjamb.

"Good, how are you?" Kevin pats himself on the back for not stumbling over his words.

"Pretty good. It's Monday, and Mondays are hard," Younghoon says with a laugh, and Kevin nods in agreement.

"You guys can all get your supplies from the front table. I'll explain what we're doing in a second," Kevin addresses the students, who give him various nods and statements of understanding.

"How was dinner on Friday? I'm sad I missed it," Younghoon's eyes are glued to him, and Kevin hopes he's not turning red. That would be so embarrassing.

"It was the usual. Chanhee and Hyunjae can't get enough of teasing me, and I was just glad to be out of my apartment," Kevin smiles, "We missed you, though."

For a second, Kevin thinks he sees Younghoon blush, as he ducks his head with a shy smile that warms Kevin's stomach. It's gone quickly, and Kevin takes a second to appreciate Younghoon's gorgeous brown hair. It's styled differently today, more up than down, but it suits him. The color suits him too.

"I should get going, I've got math worksheets on the printer. We're learning fractions today," Younghoon grimaces, and Kevin stifles a laugh.

He shudders, "Good luck with math. At least they get a brain break before you torture them with fractions."

Younghoon laughs, "You're right. I'll see you later, Kev."

Kevin commits Younghoon's smile to memory, waving as he walks down the hallway before he shuts the door, schooling his face into normalcy as he walks to the front of the classroom.

He's grateful that his small interactions with Younghoon are never awkward. He and Younghoon had only really started talking at the beginning of this year, hence where Kevin's crush formed from.

He wants to get closer to Younghoon, even just as friends, since he's heard from his students that Younghoon is kind of the coolest teacher they've ever had and that he plays music during their silent reading time, which automatically boosts him to the top of the list.

"Hello everyone! I hope everyone's doing well. Does anyone have any quick stories to share with the class about your weekend?" Kevin asks, hoping to jar the kids out of the Monday morning stupor that he himself had just been pulled out of, thanks to Younghoon.

He listens attentively to the various stories that the students have to offer. Unlike Jacob's 2nd grade class, Younghoon's 3rd grade class is a lot more hyper, especially since half of the school year has gone by and all the students have gotten used to each other and made friends.

"Mr. Moon, it's Monday! Are we gonna get popcorn today?" Yuna, one of the sweetest kids Kevin has ever met, pipes up, an eager smile on her face.

Kevin nods, laughing a bit, "Yes, yes. I'll get you all your popcorn, but first, I need a helper who can help pass out napkins for everyone."

Junghwan, one of Yuna's friends, raises his hand, "I can help!"

"Yay, okay, that's perfect. The rest of you can line up to get your paper for the special card we'll be making today," Kevin instructs, smiling at the number of excited nods he gets.

It's tradition in Mr. Moon's class for everyone to get popcorn during the first week of each month. There's no special meaning to it, just that he knows kids get hungry often, and he enjoys eating popcorn too.

And the delighted smiles he gets from his students are just an added bonus.

"Today, we're going to be making family-themed cards! Last class, you all were free to draw whatever you wanted on your cards, but this time, I'm giving you guys a topic to make your card on," Kevin starts, "Your family can be anything, it doesn't have to be your parents or your guardians. If you have a favorite movie, you can draw your favorite characters or family from it. They can be from a book, or from real life. Any type of family or group of people you like."

Kevin reaches for the pink card he has on his desk. "I made a card about my friends, who are family to me, and I have another card about a movie that I really like: Despicable Me. The minions, Gru, and the girls he adopted are some of my favorite characters from the movie, so I drew myself with them. You can look at my cards for ideas and you can ask me for ideas as well. Any questions?"

"Can my favorite football team be on my card?" Junghwan asks, eyes so wide Kevin has to remind himself not to laugh.

"Of course, Junghwan. Any sports team is a great idea for your card."

Kevin takes care of the rest of the questions and lets them get started, helping some of them with folding their construction paper and again, writing calligraphy headers for anyone who asks.

Once again, after seeing all of the students' cards coming together, Kevin is reminded about why he truly loves this project. He can easily tweak the lesson for each grade level and make sure everyone is learning something.

For Younghoon's class and third graders in general, Kevin likes giving a theme for their cards. It's a good way for him to reinforce the learning they've been doing in Language Arts, by making them use their creativity to come up with an example that fits the main idea well.

It's also very rewarding to see the cards at the end of class time, with heart stickers and various characters and animals doodled all over the paper. And if Kevin almost cries when Yuna comes up and shows him her card, pointing out where Kevin is drawn among her other teachers, that's only for him to know.

—

Kevin being unable to fall asleep really isn't something new. He's always slept better with someone else next to him, or at least in the same room as him, but he's gotten a lot better about it. It's not like he can bother Jacob into sharing a room with him, not that Jacob would complain.

So it's not very unusual that Kevin is wide awake at 2 in the morning when he has to be up to get ready for work in 5 hours. He's done everything he can think of to get his mind off of the heavy topics his mind keeps coming up with, but it's like a spiderweb; he moves away from one topic, only to start thinking about a topic that is equally, if not worse than the previous.

He sits up in bed, feeling hot but very cold simultaneously. He picks up his phone, the bright light causing him to squint at the tiny screen.

It's homesickness that's making him feel this way, Kevin is aware. He's homesick, he misses his parents and sister, and even their cat that's never really liked Kevin.

His sister had sent him a photo of the first snow a few days ago, and Kevin has never wished for snow more.

He's dialing his mother's number before he even knows it. It's around 1 PM for his family, so his mom should be on her lunch break.

"Hello?"

“Hey, Mom.”

"Kevin? Hi, baby!" his mother's joy-filled voice feels like coming home to Kevin and he smiles as soon as her voice registers in his mind.

"Why are you calling at 2 AM? Is everything all right?" is her next question, and Kevin's smile drops.

"I just stayed up late watching TV," he lies, not wanting his mother to know that he's been having trouble falling asleep. The last thing he wants to do is worry her. "I just wanted to check in. I miss you."

"Oh, Kev, I miss you too," his mother says, and he can imagine the smile on her face as she sits at her desk or in the teacher's lounge at work.

"What are you doing? Are you at work right now?" Kevin asks, ashamed that he doesn't even know if his mother is on winter break yet or not.

"Yes, I'm at work, eating lunch. It's the students' last day today, and then I have a workday tomorrow, and then I'm free for two weeks!"

"That sounds good, Mom. Do you and Dad have any plans for break?" he asks, getting comfortable in his bed again. He hadn't realized how long it's been since he actually called his mom instead of just sending occasional texts.

"Not really. Your cousins might come down for Christmas, but we aren't planning on traveling anywhere. What about you? How's Jacob doing?"

"We're all good, Mom," Kevin says, and he and his mother fall into a comfortable conversation. As they keep talking, Kevin finds himself getting sleepier, as his heart mends itself.

When he finally turns off the phone and closes his eyes, it's nearing 3:30, but he feels lighter than he has in the past few months.

—

Kevin sends his class off to lunch, reminding them to clean up their tables before they leave the room to meet their regular teacher, and heads down to the teacher's lounge.

"Hey," he feels a nudge to his hip as Jacob falls into step with him, water bottle and laptop in hand.

"Hey. Are you gonna grade while you eat?" Kevin asks, holding back the laugh he desperately wants to release.

Jacob pouts, one shoulder coming up in a shrug, "Hyunjae and I got distracted on our coffee date when I was supposed to be grading."

Kevin rolls his eyes, "When are you guys gonna date? You already go on dates and act like you're already dating."

Jacob flushes red, opening the door to the lounge for Kevin. "We do not act like we're dating."

Kevin shoots him a look before he shakes his head, the smell of reheated food kinda making him want to throw up, but also making him hungry.

He opens the fridge to find his food, the delicious pasta he had meal-prepped over the weekend. While he waits for his food to warm up in the microwave, he pulls out his phone, reading through whatever texts he missed in the groupchat he has with his friends.

"Kev?"

He looks up to Jacob holding a baby blue card and a bag of popcorn. His stomach drops before he really registers what it is, and Jacob's own eyes are wide.

"What is that?"

"I just found it next to the coffee machine," Jacob says slowly, eyes drifting from Kevin's eyes to the card and back again.

Kevin slowly reaches out for the card, taking the neatly wrapped bag of kettle corn in one hand, appreciating the pretty red ribbon that was used to wrap the bag.

The front of the card has a snowman drawn on it, Kevin's name above it, and when Kevin opens it, he's met with three other snowmen holding stick-hands. Family. That's the first thing that comes to Kevin's mind when he looks at this card.

The other side has a few sentences written on it:  _ Family can be whoever you want it to be, and I hope that your family is treating you well during these times. But if not, and you need someone to talk to, I'm always here to listen. _

But the strange part about the card wasn't the weirdly personal message, it was the signature.

"Cob, look at this," Kevin waited for Jacob to come closer, until their heads were pressed together as they stared down at the blue paper together, "It looks like someone signed their actual name by accident and erased it."

Sure enough, between the strong strokes that spelled out 'Your secret admirer', there were faint pencil marks, but whoever had erased it had a very good eraser, because Kevin was unable to decipher a single letter.

"Can you figure out what it says?" Kevin asks, only to be met with a shake of Jacob's head.

"The secret admirer part is messing with my head, I can't see past it."

"But who would've given me this? I'm doing family-themed holiday cards this week. Whoever made this knew that. And the popcorn, I'm only doing that this week too," Kevin muses.

"It's gotta be someone whose class you've had this week then," Jacob says simply, like it's no big deal.

If Kevin's being honest though, he doesn't exactly think he's ready to think about who the actual secret admirer is. In his head, he's made up a perfect secret admirer, someone tall, with dark brown hair and the cutest lips. Someone who knows exactly how to keep the conversation going, even if they don't always talk every time they see each other.

Kevin isn't ready to pull himself out of that fantasy.

"Whose classes have you had so far this week. It's only Thursday, and I don't think it's anyone from your classes this morning since they would've had to make the card in a few hours. And where would they have gotten the popcorn from?" Jacob thinks out loud, and Kevin is very grateful that the lounge is currently empty, save for them.

He doesn't want anyone else overhearing Kevin's dilemma. Not that he really has a dilemma, but still, the fact that he doesn't want to figure out the identity of his secret admirer is weird. He knows Jacob won't let it go, though.

"Well, I've had your class, Changmin's, Chanhee's, Younghoon's, Saereom's, Chan's, Minho's, and a few others. I've had almost the whole school by this point, Jacob. It could be anyone," Kevin's secretly not very disappointed that he's had so many classes already this week.

"Yeah, I don't think we'll get anywhere thinking about that. We should try to match the handwriting of the card, and maybe even figure out the name they were trying to write before erasing," Jacob inspects the card again, squinting as he looks at the paper from different angles.

Kevin sucks in a deep breath, "Or what if we just waited? I'm sure this person has a plan of their own to reveal their identity."

Jacob pauses, slowly opening both eyes, "You want to wait?"

Kevin shrugs, "Why not just let it play out? I can be patient."

"Sure, you can be patient. But your curiosity will get the best of you," Jacob pats him on the shoulder, handing the card back to him, heading to the microwave to grab his food. "We can wait."

Kevin thinks about possible candidates for his secret admirer all day long. It takes three tries to explain the lesson to Somin's class.

—

Jacob was right, Kevin can't stop his curiosity, his need to know. He finishes tidying up his classroom, wincing when he checks the state of his markers, finding most of the tips flattened and unusually dull. The first graders are brutal to their materials.

He makes his way to Sangyeon's office, knowing that he'll be in there, no matter how late it is. If there's one thing Sangyeon takes seriously, it's his work.

Sure enough, when he knocks at the door, he's met with a weary "Come in!". Kevin pushes the door open, hoping that Sangyeon has an inkling of an idea of who is leaving these cards for Kevin to find.

"Hey, Kev," Sangyeon manages a smile, and Kevin resists the urge to wince. He's not looking so hot. The bags under his eyes are pronounced, and he looks exponentially more tired than the last time Kevin saw him more than in passing, since the night they'd all gone out for drinks.

"Hi, Sangyeon. You look very overworked," Kevin says and Sangyeon smiles at that, waving away Kevin's concern.

"Just working on our budget plan for next year. It's been a long week. What can I help you with?" Sangyeon leans forward, a welcoming smile on his face.

Kevin pulls out the two cards from his bag, setting them on the desk in front of Sangyeon.

Sangyeon's eyebrows immediately pull together, "What's this?"

"I'm talking to you as your friend right now, Sangyeon, okay?" Kevin starts cautiously. He waits for Sangyeon's hesitant nod before continuing, "I've found these cards addressed to me on my desk and in the teacher's lounge this past week and I was wondering if you had any idea who left them for me?"

Sangyeon's eyes narrow, "Cards?" he picks the green one up, flipping through it quickly, before doing the same with the blue card. His face is serious when he meets Kevin's eyes again. "Someone's been leaving you these? A student?"

"No, no, not a student. Jacob and I think it's a teacher because of the handwriting. Definitely not a student," Kevin hurries to correct.

"A teacher?" Sangyeon tilts his head, eyes quickly going sharp.

"I'm here as your friend, Sangyeon. I don't find it creepy or anything. I think it's pretty cute actually. But I'm curious to know who it is," Kevin reminds, watching Sangyeon's face relax again, "The handwriting is somewhat familiar to me, but I just can't remember where I've seen it."

Sangyeon looked at Kevin for a second before he nodded, thankfully not pushing further than that.

"Well, the handwriting is definitely familiar," Sangyeon muses, setting the two cards side by side to compare the handwriting styles.

"Yeah, I thought so too. I just can't place who's it is," Kevin says.

"I'm not sure. I would cross-check with the documents I have from all the teachers, but they were all digitalized a few months ago and I don't have physical copies anymore. It's definitely from someone close to us though," Sangyeon explains. 

Kevin sighs, nodding. If Sangyeon doesn’t remember exactly whose handwriting it is, it’s unlikely that anyone else will. A stray thought pops up into his head, and when he looks at Sangyeon again, his face flushes red. 

Sangyeon notices and he leans forward, “What?”

Kevin really does not want to voice his thought, but he has to be sure. “Was it you… leaving me the cards?”

Sangyeon looks taken aback, his eyes widening and mouth opening but no words coming out of it. It’s a couple of seconds later when he finds his voice, his own ears tinged with pink. 

“No. No, it’s not me. I—um, haven’t you noticed that I really like Jacob?” his voice gets softer as he speaks, and if Kevin wasn’t so utterly shocked, he would’ve cooed. 

Instead, it’s his turn to let his jaw drop like a gaping fish and just stare. Sangyeon? Liking Jacob? Kevin was very, very unaware of this situation.

“No, I had no idea. What the hell?” Kevin whispers, unable to keep his shock at bay. 

Sangyeon looks like he wants to melt into the ground. He slumps back in his chair, managing a weak smile.

“It wasn’t planned,” he supplies, and Kevin nods slowly.

“Well, that’s really all I had to ask you for. We will be talking about this new development later, though,” Kevin sends Sangyeon his most sincere smile, mind still whirling incessantly. 

Sangyeon nods, eyes unfocused like he’s berating himself over telling Kevin anything at all. Kevin takes that as his cue to leave and he puts the cards back in his bag and hurries out of the office, only taking a huge breath when he’s leaning on the wall in the hallway outside of the office. 

Well. That isn’t how Kevin planned that talk to go. 

—

"What are we supposed to be drawing again, Mr. Moon?"

"Is it almost recess time?"

"I'm hungry!"

Kevin stands from his desk. He barely manages to stifle a sigh before he makes his way over to the table with the chattiest group of kids Kevin has. He makes a mental note to switch up the seating chart when he sees the lack of progress on their sheets of paper.

"You can draw anything you want, Wonyoung," Kevin says gently, "Do you need help thinking of an idea?"

Wonyoung pouts, thinking for a second, "I think I want to draw a dolphin!"

"That's perfect, Wonyoung. Let me know if you need any help," he picks up a pencil out of the jar in the middle of the table and hands it to her, smiling when she grips it tightly in her hand, staring down at the paper as she thinks.

He goes around, answering any questions the students have, praising the students that have made progress on their drawings.

Kevin can't help but glance at the clock again. He loves teaching, but the last few days before break are always the most chaotic, both because he has a lot of grading to do and because the students are ready for break.

It's why he lets his classes have free time to draw whatever they want on days like this. It allows them to talk to their friends and relax, and Kevin plays music while he grades and watches over them at the same time. It's the most seamless way to ease into break for both parties, and Kevin loves it.

"Mr. Moon, do you have any red paint? There's no more in this tube," Seri asks, gesturing for Kevin to come over and help her.

Kevin nods, "Acrylic, right?"

Seri double-checks the tube and nods.

"Alright, I'll be right back," Kevin heads into the storage room connected to his classroom, flicking the lights on before he heads to the back where the paint tubes are stored.

The room is in a state of complete disarray and Kevin does his best to ignore it, because the last thing he wants to do is spend extra time at school right before the holidays cleaning up his storage room. He'll get to it soon enough.

He picks through the tub with all the paints, finding the right shade of crimson. He puts the lid back onto the tub and turns to make his way out, not wanting to leave the students unattended for too long.

His eye catches on a piece of red paper sticking out in between the tube of pipe cleaners and packs of tissue paper. It's nestled right next to the door, tucked in safely so the rush of air from when the door opens doesn't jostle it.

There's something swirling in Kevin's stomach, and it isn't the dread or eerie feeling Kevin ought to be feeling. He snatches the card up, looking at the gingerbread house drawn on the front, two gingerbread characters smiling at each other, standing in front of the house.

_ To Kevin _ is written on the front in gold metallic calligraphy. Whoever his secret admirer is is very talented at art, Kevin thinks to himself.

He can't spare any more time away from his class, so he takes one last look at the beautiful card, heart clenching as he gently places it back between the pipe cleaners and tissue paper, closing the door behind him as he heads to Seri's table.

"Sorry for the wait, Seri. Here you go!" he hands her the paint, watching as her eyes light up with delight.

"Thanks, Mr. Moon! Look at my M&M's painting!" she exclaims, waving her sheet of paper in the air.

Kevin chuckles, "You're gonna have to keep it still so I can see it."

Seri nods sheepishly, putting the paper on the table and moving to the side so Kevin can peer over her shoulder.

"Wow, Seri, these are very good!" Kevin compliments, looking at the various circular shapes depicting different M&M's, "Is the red one your last one?"

"Yeah, I already painted the others. After this one, I'm gonna draw the minions from Despicable Me!"

"That's a great idea, Seri," Kevin nods in approval, straightening before heading back over to Wonyoung's table when he spots her hand shoot up.

Class goes by quickly, but the thought of the red card in the storage room stays with him, even throughout his other classes.

He doesn't get a chance to look at it until his lunch break, right after his class gets out. He waits for all of the kids to file out after Changmin, then he heads straight to the storage room after making sure no one is outside of his door.

He brings the card back to the desk after checking to make sure there isn't anything else with it.

He flips it open once he sits back down, finding a list written on the inside.

' _ Things I Admire About You _ ', the list is titled.

  1. _Your very charming laugh (it's so contagious!)_
  2. _Your kindness (we've only started talking more, but even in the past, you've always gone out of your way to be kind to me)_
  3. _Your patience (I'm a teacher too, so I have to be patient, but your patience is different. It inspires me)_
  4. _Your art skill (this one is obvious, but you're very talented, Kevin. I hope you know that)_
  5. _Your inability to stay silent (it's really cute when you always try to fill up silences, even if they aren't awkward)_



_ Basically, I just really admire you. I think I'm building up the courage to tell you my identity. Please be a bit patient with me! _

_ — Your secret admirer <3 _

Kevin inhales shakily. He doesn't know the last time anyone has ever complimented him this way. He isn't used to the kind words that are clearly so heartfelt from whoever they came from.

Kevin knows his secret admirer just asked him to be more patient, but Kevin really wants to just get up and sneak into every classroom, comparing the handwriting on the card to every teacher's. He wants to thank his secret admirer, for reminding him of these traits.

More than anything, though, Kevin just wants to write back to this person and hold a true conversation with them.

There's only one more day before winter break, though, and Kevin isn't sure he'll get his chance.

Sighing, he gently closes the card and places it with the other two in his bag. He hopes he'll get the chance to talk to his admirer face-to-face.

—

Kevin doesn't get very much time to pore over the card, because right after lunch, he has Younghoon's class coming in. Luckily, it's his last class of the day, but unluckily, he actually has to get up and do things other than daydream about his secret admirer.

He wonders if Younghoon would recognize the handwriting. Maybe he can ask him really quickly when class is over.

He stands up, making his way over to the table on the other side of his desk, making sure there is enough paper and colored pencils for all of the students who should be getting here at any moment now.

Right on cue, as Kevin checks his watch, kids start to file in, already looking sleepy after eating and playing on the playground. There's generally two types of kids after lunch and recess. The type that is ready to knock out and take a long nap, and those that are extra energized from playing outside and are extra noisy during class. Kevin doesn't really mind the noisy kids, as long as they don't start yelling.

"Good afternoon, everyone!" he says with a smile, watching as everyone takes their seats.

"Is this our last class?" Yuna asks, eyes impossibly wide as she takes her seat.

Kevin chuckles, "No, it's just our last class before winter break. I'll be seeing you all again in January after the break."

Yuna relaxes, "This is my favorite class!"

"I'm glad, Yuna," Kevin smiles before turning to the rest of the classroom. "Today, you all get to draw whatever you like! You can draw or paint, and there are markers, paint, and coloring pencils for you to use. Any questions?"

For once, the students stay silent, looking excited in their chairs.

"All right then, the front two tables may start getting their supplies," Kevin instructs, waiting for the kids to get up and out of the way before he makes his way over to the classroom door to close it.

He's about to swing the door shut when Younghoon walks up, laptop and coffee in hand. Kevin pauses, looking around him, thinking that maybe a student had to make an emergency bathroom trip before art class, but there's no one next to or behind Younghoon.

He looks up, obviously confused, "What's up?"

Younghoon looks sheepish, "Well, I wanted to ask if I could stay in here for a bit? A few of the lights in my classroom are out, and it should only take twenty minutes to change, but I don't want to stay in there while the janitors are working on it."

Kevin tilts his head but nods after a second. He really does need to get some grading done, but it's not like Younghoon will be  _ that _ distracting. Especially in front of his own class.

"Sure! I can't guarantee that it'll be quiet in here, though. The students have free draw time today, so they're naturally very excited."

"I don't mind," Younghoon assures as he follows Kevin in, gently shutting the door behind him. Kevin does his best not to focus on the warmth he can feel from Younghoon's body as he walks to his desk.

Fifteen minutes later, Kevin has gotten no further in his grading. And it isn't the students' fault. It's not really Younghoon's fault either, though. Not directly.

Kevin's stupid brain just can't stop glancing over at him every few minutes, appreciating the way his hair is styled, always so perfectly, appreciating the slope of his nose, and his strong jawline—

"Mr. Moon! Mr. Kim! Can you help me with my card?" comes Junghwan's request.

Younghoon looks up, meeting Kevin's eye. Kevin looks away, red flaring in his cheeks immediately. He pushes up from his desk, choosing to help Junghwan instead of paying attention to Younghoon's inquisitive stare.

"Sure, Junghwan," Kevin says, smiling as he walks over, acutely aware of Younghoon's presence right behind him.

"Wait, Mr. Moon! My white colored pencil is broken," Asahi says, "The sharpener isn't working."

Younghoon nods at him, telling him that he can go to Asahi, that he'll help Junghwan. Kevin hesitates, spending a split second contemplating, but if Younghoon says he's got Junghwan, then Kevin trusts him. He turns and heads to Asahi's table, accepting the pencil the student thrusts into his hand.

"Hm, let's see what the problem is," Kevin murmurs as he looks at the tip of the pencil that is indeed broken, the wood twisted in a way that prevents it from being inserted in the sharpener.

Kevin sighs, deeming the pencil unusable for now. "How about we find a white colored pencil for you to borrow from another table?"

Asahi nods eagerly and Kevin makes his way to the next table, finding a spare white pencil for him to use. He sharpens it, just for good measure, before presenting it to Asahi, who beams up at him.

"Thank you, Mr. Moon!" Kevin is somewhat shocked since Asahi is one of the quietest students he's ever had, but he chalks it up to Younghoon being in the room with him. It must make Asahi more comfortable.

Kevin just nods, "You're welcome, Asahi. What are you drawing?"

Asahi pushes the sheet of paper closer to Kevin, who crouches down to get a better look.

"I'm designing my own character," Asahi says proudly, "It's a robot."

"This is very impressive, Asahi! I love how you shaded his eyes," Kevin says, and it's true. Asahi is very talented, and Kevin's noticed that he's always drawing new characters that he’s designed himself.

"Thanks, Mr. Moon," Asahi's cheeks go red, and Kevin grins before he pushes up and heads back over to Junghwan.

Younghoon is crouched next to Junghwan, head bent down as he works on the card, black marker gripped tightly in his hand. He doesn't notice Kevin until Junghwan smiles at him.

"Look at my card, Mr. Moon! Mr. Kim is drawing my Christmas tree for me! What colors do you think I should color it?" Junghwan asks excitedly, practically jumping in his chair.

Kevin taps a finger against his chin, looking over Younghoon's shoulder to see how the tree was coming along. He is pleasantly surprised to see a detailed tree, clearly drawn effortlessly. Younghoon's drawing the ornaments when he looks up, eyes widening.

"I think the ornaments would look good colored in red and gold, and maybe also blue?" Kevin suggests, Looking at Younghoon for approval.

Younghoon still looks shocked, "I didn't know you were back."

Kevin shrugs, "Asahi just needed a new colored pencil."

Younghoon nods slowly, tensing for a second before slowly lowering his head again, focusing on the card once again.

It takes a few more seconds for Younghoon to finish sketching in the ornaments, before he stands back, quickly rubbing his hand to get rid of the cramp that Kevin is all too familiar with himself.

For a second, Kevin wants to reach out and take Younghoon's hand in his own, and gently massage it to relieve the ache, but he forces himself to look down at the card instead, pushing away all thoughts of Younghoon.

It is easier said than done. Junghwan's card is very cute, the tall tree outlined perfectly. Younghoon draws in a more loose style, making everything look more sketchy and less realistic, which Kevin is a huge fan of.

"Thanks, Mr. Kim! I'm gonna color these in with red and gold," Junghwan says, leaning forward to reach into the tub of colored pencils, searching for his desired colors.

Kevin and Younghoon take that as their cue to head back to the front of the classroom. Kevin takes a second to look around the room, making sure that no one has their hand up or is waiting on him, then takes a seat in his desk chair.

"I didn't know you could draw," Kevin says, looking over at Younghoon, whose gaze is steadfast on his hands.

"I've been working on it," Younghoon looks up, cheeks just the slightest bit pink. "It hasn't been too long since I started drawing, but I want to improve."

"Well, you're already doing great. We should maybe draw together sometime. Just to keep each other company," the words are out of Kevin's mouth before he can stop them, and he inwardly cringes at himself.

He and Younghoon have never hung out together, with just the two of them, before. He doesn't know why Younghoon would want to start now, but it's too late to take it back now.

He laughs nervously, "Only if you want to, though. I know some people are a lot better at focusing when drawing by themselves, and I also know that some people don't like sharing their work with others. It's completely up to you, I just—"

"Kevin," Younghoon butts in, an amused glint in his eyes. "I'd love to draw with you sometime."

His words are earnest, and though he also looks a bit nervous — Kevin doesn't know why he would be nervous — he doesn't look weirded out by Kevin.

"Okay," Kevin breathes, turning back to his laptop, "Sounds good."

He sees Younghoon smile out of the corner of his eye, and he's filled with a strange sense of both happiness and shame. For some reason, he feels like he should be loyal to his secret admirer, and not think about other people. He realizes how ridiculous that sounds, though, and quickly shakes his head, focusing on his laptop.

Choosing between Younghoon and his secret admirer is a problem for tomorrow, but his grading can't wait. He can't get the memory of Younghoon's smile directed at him out of his head during the entire class period though. 

It’s only after Younghoon leaves that Kevin remembers: he was supposed to ask if Younghoon recognized the handwriting on his card. 

—

Kevin fruitlessly hopes for time to pass by quicker. Winter is brutal, and though it's warmest at noon, it's still too cold for Kevin's taste. He loves winter, but recess duty is his least favorite activity.

It's cold, and he's already had to remind the 2nd graders not to slide down the icy hill next to the playground three times. It's getting exhausting, and Kevin's bones are half-frozen.

He rocks back and forth on his heels, doing his best to retain feeling in his extremities. It's freezing, and he silently groans when he checks the watch on his wrist, seeing that there are still fifteen more minutes of recess.

As always, his thoughts drift back to Younghoon whenever he has free time. After yesterday, when Younghoon kept him company during his art class, Kevin hasn't been able to stop thinking about Younghoon drawing.

He's looking forward to drawing with him, though they haven't discussed a date or anything yet. The simple thought of hanging out with Younghoon fills him with exhilaration, and pathetically, it warms him up.

He's still thinking about Younghoon when he spots a flash of black whip through his periphery. Someone's in the staff parking lot, right next to the icy hill where several kids are huddled together, doing their best to retain warmth between them.

Kevin turns, finding Hyunjae on the other side of the playground, over by the 4-square area of the blacktop, where there are two games of 4-square going on currently. Kevin knits his eyebrows together. He has no idea who would be in the staff parking lot at this time, but he should definitely go check if it's a kid.

Most students know they aren't allowed to be over by the staff parking lot, but some students have a knack for not obeying their teachers.

He sighs, looking over the playground one last time before making his way up the sidewalk leading to the staff parking lot.

There's no sign of any kids when he gets into the lot, and he's about to just stop and turn around, and focus on keeping warm for the remainder of recess when he spots something on his own car.

The light winter wind causes whatever is placed in the windshield to flutter, and as Kevin gets closer, he sees that it's a piece of paper.

Immediately, his heart surges as he speeds up. Whoever Kevin had just seen walking in the parking lot must be the same person who left him the card. Kevin looks around the parking lot again, looking for anyone as he approaches his car.

There's no one around him, save for several cars, and Kevin does his best to prevent the way his mood instantly drops. Today is the last day before winter break. He's sure the holiday cards will stop coming when they come back from break, and he doesn't want to miss his chance of finding out who his admirer is, even if it's just to thank them.

Kevin sighs, but the small tinge of excitement reignites as he gets closer to his car. The card is pink this time, and Kevin snatches it up from his windshield, only to find Younghoon crouching down next to the driver's side door.

Kevin stills, eyes wide as he looks at Younghoon, who slowly lifts his gaze to meet Kevin's. He looks almost scared, definitely more nervous than he should be.

For a second, they just stay like that, Younghoon and Kevin staring at each other, eyes wide, heart skipping several beats.

"What the fuck?" Kevin hisses. He's not mad, not at all. More bewildered. "Did you leave this here?"

Younghoon swallows, starting to shiver. Kevin notices that Younghoon isn't even wearing a jacket, and that simply won't do in this winter weather.

"Why aren't you wearing a jacket?" Kevin asks, already unzipping his jacket and handing it over to Younghoon, who looks torn in his emotions.

"You'll be cold," Younghoon murmurs. Kevin raises an eyebrow and pushes the coat into Younghoon's arms.

"Did you leave me this card? Has it been you all this time?" Kevin repeats.

Younghoon bites his lip, hands clenching into fists before he relaxes again. He meets Kevin's eye and nods once.

Kevin thinks he might faint.

" _ You? _ You're my secret admirer?" Kevin isn't sure if he's over the moon with happiness or about to faint from shock.

"Are you... disappointed that it's me?" Younghoon's voice is smaller than Kevin's ever heard it, and he immediately feels the need to reassure him.

This isn't how he wants to do it. Not in the middle of the staff parking lot when he's in the middle of recess duty, but he has to say something.

"Never. How could I be disappointed when I've been crushing on you for half a year now?'

Kevin smiles when Younghoon's head whips up, wide eyes searching his own, looking for any lies.

"Really?"

Kevin laughs, "Yes, Younghoon. I can't believe it's you. I felt like I was betraying my admirer by asking you on a drawing date yesterday."

Younghoon's face gets redder, though Kevin can't quite place if it's from his words or the cold.

"Look at the card. I was going to tell you who I was today after school."

Kevin obliges, taking a second to appreciate the heart drawn on the front of the card, before opening it, finding a short message.

_ To: Kevin _

_ I'm ready to tell you who I am, if you want to know. Please meet me in front of Sangyeon's office at 4 today. _

_ \- Your secret admirer <3 _

"This is ridiculously cute, you know that?" Kevin can't help the laugh that ripples out of him at that moment.

"I've noticed you always get sad around this time of year, and though we've never talked very much, I thought this would hopefully cheer you up. And I didn't have the guts to ask you out face to face," Younghoon mumbles and Kevin crouches down next to Younghoon, well aware that he needs to be getting back to recess duty soon.

"It definitely cheered me up. Thank you," he says sincerely, placing a hand on Younghoon's arm.

A shiver racks through him, either from the cold or from the warmth Younghoon radiates, then he straightens, looking back towards the playground.

"You should get back to recess duty," Younghoon takes off Kevin's coat, helping Kevin put it back on. "Meet me in my classroom after school, okay? We can talk more then."

Kevin nods, unable to stifle the shit-eating grin that has overtaken his face.

"I'll see you in a while, Younghoon," he beams, tucking the card inside his coat for safekeeping as he starts the trek back to the playground.

"Bye, Kev. I'll see you," Younghoon says with a matching shit-eating grin, though his contains a lot more shyness.

Kevin isn't able to answer Hyunjae's demands as to why he's smiling so big when it's 10 degrees below freezing at the moment when he makes it back to the playground. Kevin isn't able to articulate his thoughts well, anyway. Every coherent thought in his brain is turned into mush, replaced by Younghoon.

—

Needless to say, Kevin can't really focus on class after that. It doesn't matter much, since the students are in a similar state of distraction, counting down the minutes until class is let out and winter break finally starts.

Kevin has Chanhee's class of 4th graders today, and they're supposed to be free drawing, but most of them have completely blank sheets of paper, instead opting to talk to their tablemates about their winter break plans.

Kevin doesn't push them to get back to work. It would be fruitless, anyway. There are 20 minutes until class lets out, and there is no hope of getting them back to work during that time. Kevin doesn't mind. He spends his time daydreaming about Younghoon, counting down the minutes until he can meet Kevin, after the clock strikes 3:30 and the students are free for the year.

It's a dumb way to pass time, yet Kevin can't seem to stop. Time seems to fly by in the blink of an eye, and sooner than he expects, Chanhee is back to collect his class and shepherd them to the proper exits.

Luckily, Kevin was smart enough to finish replying to emails and finalize his grading during his planning period this morning, so there are really no consequences to wasting his entire afternoon.

He's buzzing when he walks to Younghoon's classroom at 3:55. He spent 20 minutes tidying up his classroom to make the janitors' job a little easier, and he also spent an absurd amount of time staring at the newest card added to his collection, imagining Younghoon in his house, colored pens spread out around him, tongue poked out while he concentrated on making sure his doodles were of the highest quality.

The short walk brings him to Younghoon's door, and he pokes his head in to make sure there's no child left behind in there before he pushes the door open.

Younghoon's sat at his desk, looking at his laptop, appearing very busy, if it wasn't for his glazed-over eyes and the leg that won't stop bouncing under the table. His actions give away his nerves, and Kevin suppresses the urge to coo.

"Hi," he says, taking a seat on top of the desk next to Younghoon's own desk.

"Hey," Younghoon smiles, breathing out and relaxing in the process.

"So," Kevin starts, "Do you have any plans tonight?"

If Younghoon is taken aback, he shows no evidence of it, choosing instead to shut his laptop, packing it away before standing.

"Nope, I'm completely free," Younghoon grins.

"Would you want to get dinner with me? We could go back to mine and watch a movie or something," Kevin suggests and revels in the way Younghoon lights up.

"That sounds great, Kev," Younghoon nudges Kevin's shoulder with his own, and he takes stock of their height difference, not for the first time. Younghoon's just a few inches taller than him, but it's enough that Kevin can tuck his chin in the crook of Younghoon's neck if they ever hugged.

And that's a big if. But Kevin pays it no mind as he smiles up at Younghoon, the two of them leaving the school for winter break, Kevin feeling so much happier than ever in the past 3 years he's been teaching at this school.

The night passes by quickly, too quick for Kevin's liking. Kevin laughs more than he ever has during winter, and the ache of homesickness that he thought was permanent almost seems to disappear. Even when Jacob and Hyunjae barge in while Younghoon and Kevin share a giant pizza, a cheesy rom-com playing in the back, Kevin's undeterred, and he manages to have a great time learning more about Younghoon over a bottle of wine.

Kevin pouts when Younghoon says it's time to for him leave, but they make sure they have each other's numbers, and Younghoon promises that they'll hang out again soon.

It's that promise that keeps Kevin from falling into a rut, and Younghoon stays true to his word, texting him as soon as he gets home. Kevin feels like a teenager falling in love for the first time, but the difference is that Kevin's never fallen so hard before.

—

"It was you?" Kevin has never seen Hyunjae whip his head around so fast, and Jacob isn't far behind. Both of their jaws have dropped, and when Kevin looks down the table, Sangyeon's eyes are also wide. The only person who seems unsurprised is Chanhee.

"Chanhee," Kevin's eyes narrow, "Did you know about this?"

Chanhee has the decency to blush, looking down sheepishly. He nods.

"What the hell? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I asked him not to tell anyone," Younghoon says quietly, his hand tightening on Kevin's under the table.

"I can't believe that Younghoon is your secret admirer," Hyunjae says, shaking his head in disbelief.

"He's too shy to ever confess in person. It was a cute idea," Chanhee points out, and Kevin smiles at the light blush on Younghoon's cheeks.

"It was cute," Kevin agrees and it's Younghoon's turn to smile shyly at him.

"No wonder the handwriting was familiar," Jacob says, "It was Younghoon the whole time."

Kevin smiles bashfully. It's like he can't stop smiling when he's around Younghoon.

"I'm imagining Younghoon sneaking into the teacher's lounge to leave the card and it's so funny," Hyunjae hums, snickering quietly.

"Stop making fun of me," Younghoon whines, burying his head in his free hand.

"Yeah, stop bullying him," Kevin sticks his tongue out at Hyunjae, and sure, it's childish, but maybe he's picked something up from being around children all day every day. It's good to let loose every once in a while.

—

"Stop, stop, stop, Hoon, that's way too much!" Kevin nearly shrieks when he sees what Younghoon's up to.

The smile Younghoon gives him is pure devilish, and he continues to shake glitter onto the card.

Kevin's jaw drops for a second before he's reaching for the bottle of glitter, trying his best to salvage the card.

"Think of how much love your mom will feel when she opens up this card and it's full of glitter. She'll know just how much you love her," Younghoon tries to justify his excessive use of glitter, but Kevin just narrows his eyes.

"She's gonna be washing glitter off of her hands for a week," Kevin mutters, but Younghoon pretends not to hear, turning back to dump more glitter on construction paper.

Kevin looks down at his own card. He had suggested the idea of both of them making cards for the other's family, but he's starting to double-think that suggestion. His card for Younghoon's family is simpler than Younghoon's. He had gone for cream-colored paper with a plate of cookies and a glass of milk on the front, the inside holding a sketch of Younghoon and Kevin with a short message. He's proud of his card.

Younghoon's card for Kevin's family is less formal, and more like a seven-year-old got to it, but Kevin can't hide the fact that he's endeared. Kevin knows his mother will immediately see the love poured into the card, and for that, he leans over and quickly kisses Younghoon on the cheek.

Younghoon stills, looking over at Kevin slowly, "What was that for?"

Kevin shrugs, not really wanting to delve into the complexity that was his emotions.

Younghoon nods for a second, before he starts to lean in. He stops a hair's breadth from Kevin's lips, eyes flicking up to meet Kevin's. "This okay?"

Kevin's eyes dart down to Younghoon's and back up to his eyes. It's more than okay, but he feels like teasing Younghoon a bit. He waits a beat longer than normal, waiting for Younghoon's lips to droop into a pout, before he exhales, nodding, then closing the distance between them.

Kissing Younghoon is like taking a sip of sweet hot cocoa. It's slow and warm and sweet, and Younghoon is acutely aware of every move Kevin makes and responds accordingly. To put it simply, it's great, and Kevin doesn't want to stop.

When they pull apart, Kevin smiles, then frowns. Younghoon backs up immediately, giving Kevin some space in case it was too much for him.

"What's wrong?" Younghoon asks, and Kevin can't pretend to be upset anymore.

He laughs, "I think I ate some glitter."

Younghoon lets out an affronted noise, pushing Kevin playfully before turning back to his card.

Art supplies are scattered all around Younghoon's studio, but neither of them really mind. Kevin is happy that he had come up with the idea he did. Kevin's parents live quite a bit further than Younghoon's, but either way, they are both going to be separated from their families for the holidays this year.

And usually, Kevin would be moping around, annoyed and hurt that he isn't able to go home, this year is different. Because Younghoon is adamant on lifting Kevin's spirits. And maybe it's working, because as Younghoon dumps more and more glitter on the card, Kevin feels less and less heartbroken. He finds joy in the smallest of things, like decorating cards with Younghoon to send home. And baking cookies and curling up on the couch to watch yet another cheesy movie.

It's not Kevin's dream vacation. But it's comforting and fun, and in that moment, he doesn't love anyone more than Younghoon. Even if his hands are covered in pink glitter and he gets it all over Kevin's face when he pushes hair off of his forehead, away from his eyes. 

—

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed this little holiday fic! pls leave a kudos or comment if you'd like and thank you for reading! <3  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/stealertbz) | [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/hoonheart)


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